The One Calling

So this is what it’s like to turn 50. My wife made one of those slide shows with favorite songs and photographs from highlights of my life, like the ones shown at funerals. Her tendency to procrastinate makes this more than a little concerning. Gives me an idea what next big family get together is anticipated. Perhaps I’ll be more careful about coming to a complete stop at red lights and I’ll get someone else to blow the pine straw off the roof.

Physically, everything still works. Well, almost everything still works. About a year ago, I started extending my arms to read. Now at 50, my arms seem a bit shorter. I can put books on the desk and just push my chair back, but that doesn’t work so well with my laptop. Guess I really should have learned to type without looking at the keys. Nobody told me there would come a day when I couldn’t read the keys! I’ve settled for reading glasses as the next best thing to arm extensions. My body also seems to have lost the ability to process really hot foods uneventfully. I love spicy foods. But at 50, the follow-up to those meals is such an ordeal that I’m learning to love more subtle seasonings. That’s about it physically… so far.

I’ve spent enough time counseling folks to know that one’s 50th birthday can bring an onslaught of emotions around both regrets and reservations. A few years ago, I got tired of all that regret and anxiety around “big birthdays”. I’d assess my life – opportunities missed, goals abandoned, and forgotten dreams. Then I’d make these commitments to change much like a New Year’s resolution and, much like a New Years resolution, I’d completely forget them in the busyness of everyday life until the next “big birthday”. Reload. Replay. 

This cycle continued until I realized my unit of measure (a year or more) was just too big. Psalm 90:12 says “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” So I started counting and measuring my days. Today, I am 18,262 days old. I’m guessing I have something less than that left, so I want to make the most of each. It’s hard to change the behavior of someone as ornery and stubborn as me when it’s just checked annually. But when I know where I’m going and I’m checking my progress each day, making the proper adjustments along the way, life just gets a lot simpler (not always easier, but simpler).

Once I changed my unit of measure from a year to a day, I realized I had way too many goals and plans to assess each day. I wanted to be the best husband possible, the best dad possible, the best friend, the best counselor, the best pastor, and the best man possible. Then I realized I was not called to be all those things. I was called to follow Jesus. Jesus never called any man to be any of those things. He called men to follow him. Then, along the way, he taught them to teach others to follow him. As they did, they found themselves leading. As we really focus on following Jesus, we become better husbands, fathers, employers, friends, and leaders. We need only focus on the one calling – to follow Jesus - and measure our progress daily. 

I’m not the model. I stumble all the time. Perfection for me will not be found on this side of the grass. But the simplification of one goal measured daily has clarified a lot for this spiffied-up redneck from Reidsville (no, MS spellcheck does not like my homegrown term).  I don’t expect any surprises at 50, because I’ve been adjusting my path along the way. How about you?     

John

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Happy Anniversary

 In August, I realized that Rachel Wood was approaching her one year anniversary at Five Stones. Gratitude filled me. I could write a novela on the many ways Rachel's presence has blessed us both personally and professionally. She is an intelligent, dedicated professional counselor with a heart for hurting people the size of Texas. She has the unique combination of being  funny and fun! She loves smarties candy and hates spiders (just a few fun facts that don't show up in her professional bio).  Rachel wandered into the life of our team like the best kind of surprise and with all the beauty of a summer day.  God shaped her for this work, and he leads the ministry that takes place in her office.  At my request, she has written her own reflection of this past year (see below). Enjoy. - Jo

I've been working at Five Stones for close to a year now and I've been given a chance to reflect on my experience this past year. A couple of things come to mind:

The desire to do Christ-centered counseling is a deep rooted desire I have carried with me for several years now. I have gained years of valuable counseling experience, both in the secular and Christian realms, and I have noticed there are a few unique qualities of Five Stones that enable "counseling" with "ministry" to flow from the same cup. 

The Spirit of God is palpable at Five Stones. This is something I have always desired wherever I practice and there is no question that John, Jo, Racheal and I rely heavily on the Lord's guidance at Five Stones. When you walk into Five Stones, the atmosphere invites you to relax and take a deep breath. This atmosphere I credit to John and Jo, who envisioned Five Stones as a place where one can walk in, grab a cup of coffee and feel a sense of home. The philosophy of Five Stones hinges on the idea that we are here to serve God and our clients to the best of our ability. Every detail, from the carefully chosen modes of therapy, down to the selection of drinks and snacks provided in the kitchen, is selected with the client in mind. 

My most treasured aspect of Five Stones is that I'm given the chance to sit with those who are searching for some kind of healing, whether it is spiritual, physical or emotional. God has blessed me by giving me the chance to view real life change--marriages healed, depression lifted and families reunited. The one gift I see God give to my clients consistently is hope. Here's to another hopeful year at Five Stones. 

Rachel

A View From the Front Desk

 Having spent hours at the office, I thought a fresh set of eyes might describe a fresh perspective. Rachael H. has been our administrative assistant for less than two months; therefore, I asked if she would write a blog on our office. I hope you both enjoy and learn from her words; May they help paint a picture of our vision for Five Stones.  Blessings, Jo.

The Five Stones staff and office atmosphere are both amazing. It seems God knew exactly what He was doing when He opened the door for me to start part-time as the Administrative Assistant at Five Stones a little over a month ago. It has been a blessing in so many ways; it’s especially great to have a job I look forward to.

Coffee Shop Meets Confidential Setting

Five Stones truly is a “coffee shop meets confidential setting.” Each day as clients come to the office I greet them and offer them a coffee, soda, water or juice. This summer I’m serving iced-coffee, fruit-infused water, smoothies and soda-floats. The coffee-ice-cubes are ready and the ice-cream is in the freezer, so no need to stop by Starbucks before you head to your Five Stones appointment.

Ironically, my very first high-school job was at a coffee shop. When Rachel Wood (whom I now refer to as RW, to eliminate confusion between the Rach[a]els) found out I could make an authentic cappuccino, she promised to bring in her espresso machine one of these days!  I enjoy serving, so please let me know what kind of drink you’d like.

 Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a number one value at Five Stones. Client files, schedule books, and phone message logs are kept locked away at all times. Counselors always maintain respect for their clients’ privacy. Even in cases where a church or relative pays for a client’s counseling sessions, counselors obtain a confidentiality waiver from the client in order to share invoice information with the payer. Every aspect of ethical confidentiality is adhered to at Five Stones. It’s a place where many professionals are comfortable referring their clients who needed counseling. Multiple doctors, pastors and other professionals refer clients to Five Stones on a regular basis.     

Little Things that Make a Big Difference

Just as “little foxes” can “spoil a vine” (Song of Solomon 2:15), small positive touches make the difference in the Five Stones office atmosphere. From chocolates and mints found in each room, to classical music playing in the lobby, to rolled towel hand-cloths in the bathroom, to the smile on each counselor’s face—Five Stones is full of charm and small comforts.

Christ-Centered Relationships

It’s obvious to me why John and Jo chose Christ-Centered Relationship Counseling as their focus—it’s because their relationships are Christ-Centered. It’s not just a professional tag-line; it’s the way they live. John and Jo invite the Lord into every staff meeting; they begin with prayer and offer to pray for staff members’ requests. They daily exemplify their faith as they demonstrate what it means to be a professional Christian counselor. Five Stones counselors always behave unselfishly and with courtesy—whether they are speaking to me as the administrative assistant, or interacting with clients.

Contact Five Stones

Everyone experiences challenges in relationships and needs someone to help them navigate the rough waters of life. As Christ is the light, Five Stones is a lighthouse and a beacon of hope where many people find refuge and direction. Make an appointment with a Five Stones counselor today. Call us at 912.667.5848, or email me at rhartman@fivestones.org. I’m happy to give you information on Five Stones or schedule your appointment. We are looking forward to serving you.  

Rachael H. 

3 MYTHS THAT DERAIL HUSBANDS

Myth #1: Presents can replace presence.

It’s a classic story. A man gets busy with work and increasingly needs “my time” away from the stress of work, parenting, honey-dos… So he offers his wife presents rather than his presence. Initially the gifts may be well received, reinforcing the myth. Unfortunately, most of us men are rather simple-minded when it comes to this kind of behavior. As it becomes clear that our gifts fall short of our wives’ expectations, we simply offer bigger gifts. It’s like putting water in your car’s gas tank and then deciding you need more water to make it run.

I’ve lost count of the discouraged, angry, resentful wives who have sat in my office and told this classic. Men, presents will not replace your presence. It’s a myth that will eventually leave you off track - sad, lonely, and confused.

Myth #2: My pornography viewing has nothing to do with my wife.

I’ve heard, and on some level believed, this myth for most of my 24 years of ministry. But after hearing wife after wife describe their shattered self-esteem, identity struggles, diminished sex drive, and overall broken trust stemming from their husbands' pornography viewing, I know how damaging this particular myth is.

You committed to love, honor and nurture your wife as her husband. What every wife needs most from her husband is nurturing. To nurture your wife means to protect her, to care for her, and to encourage her growth or development. Ogling other naked people betrays your commitment to your wife. Whether you realize it or not, your wife does, and she feels robbed of what she needs the most. I suspect that if your wife was enamored by the photo-shopped anatomy or sexual behavior of another man, you’d understand. Stop. Get help. Don’t drive your marriage into a ditch.

Myth #3: My wife will be happy if I let her make all the decisions.

When it comes to the husband’s role, there are two poles or extreme approaches. One is the macho, command-and-control leader who calls all the shots. The other is an apathetic, neutered, emasculated male, who takes very little responsibility for family decisions. While most of us realize the trappings of the first, we unwittingly gravitate too close to the other extreme. As with most things in life, one extreme is as dangerous as the other. Whether we’re trying to keep the peace or hide our own insecurities, our apathy places a heavy, usually unwanted burden on our wives. A man is hard-wired to lead his family, not in a dictatorial manner, but in a manner that women and children want to follow. Yes, if this has not been modeled for you, you may need coaching. But know this – two decades of counseling have taught me that very few wives are happy making all the family decisions. While you may keep your marriage intact, your apathy will derail your intimacy. Man up. Lead with grace, inclusion and encouragement, but lead.

Stay on Track,

John Crosby

5 Ways to Reduce the Sting of Marriage Conflict

Marriage conflict is inevitable.

When two people come from different backgrounds, with different experiences, personalities, perspectives, and temperaments, there is bound to be friction. 

The absence of conflict is not a trait of great marriages. Having the commitment and tools to resolve conflict within the covenant of marriage helps move marriages from good to great. 

Here are five ways to reduce the sting of your marriage conflicts:

1. SIT.  Emotions are much more likely to escalate when we stand. Sit. Stay seated as you discuss your differences. You will find the emotional temperature is much more conducive to resolution if you each commit to staying seated during arguments. 

2. SIMPLIFY.  Each time a new issue is dumped on the table, your conflict gets exponentially more complex. Address one issue at a time. Avoid the temptation to defend yourself by diverting the conversation to other issues. Sure, they're all intertwined. And yes, it may seem like it takes longer to address one issue at a time. However, if you resolve each issue before moving on, you've accomplished far more than you would by overwhelming each other with multiple issues and not resolving anything. 

3. CLARIFY.  Active or reflective listening is meant to clarify your understanding of what your spouse is communicating. Allow your spouse to make a point. Then restate what you think your spouse meant to communicate. A great way to start is by leading with, "What I think you are saying is.....".  Then he/she can affirm or seek to correct your understanding. This process eliminates, or at least minimizes, guessing and assumptions. Each of these can derail your attempts to resolve conflict.

4. QUALIFY.  While simplifying and clarifying a conflict involves the content of your discussion, qualifying addresses the context. Qualifying can assure the timing, setting, and participation is agreeable to both parties. Examples of qualifying questions and/or comments are:

 Is this a good time to talk?

Could I have thirty minutes to unwind before we address this issue?

 Can we talk about this alone?

I need to talk with you about something difficult.

5. APOLOGIZE.  Pride and fear are the greatest adversaries of relationships. Nothing diffuses pride and fear like humility and the acceptance of responsibility. Apologize often and authentically. Great apologies include:

• an acknowledgment of something wrong 

• an understanding of the pain, cost, or inconvenience caused by the wrong 

• an admission of fallibility 

• and a commitment to seek to avoid repeating that wrong. 

Certainly this is not an exhaustive list, but these five actions will reduce the sting of most marriage conflict. 

Growing Deeper, 

John Crosby

Effective Accountability Partnerships

After twenty-five years in ministry, I’m convinced of two things regarding accountability. First, accountability is an absolute crucial component of spiritual and leadership development. Second, most men are clueless as to how to hold one another accountable.

My temptation is to write a lengthy exposition on the need for accountability and about the many relationships and activities masquerading as “accountability”. Instead, allow me to share some observations from the most effective accountability partnerships and groups I’ve encountered through the years: 

1.  Mutual trust is absolutely essential.

2.  The most effective accountability partners agree to be goal-oriented. As Christians, the goals should reflect a desire to close the gap between the man you are today and the man God created you to become. The goals may be a combination of dealing with sin or other unhealthy issues and focusing on positive improvements like becoming a better husband, dad, or business leader, but are most effective when they are not exclusively focused on negative issues. The goals evolve in long-term partnerships, but should always include specific, measurable, time-bound benchmarks for which one can be held accountable.

3. Consider the three basic learning styles: analytics, doers, and watchers. You’ll be most effective at helping one another and offering suggestions if you share the same learning style. Just ask yourself how you most often approach a task that is completely foreign to you. If your natural inclination is to study the manual or research online, you’re probably an analytic. If you tend to dive right in and learn on the run, you’re a doer. If you prefer watching someone else and emulating their process, you’re a watcher. We each learn all three ways, but most people gravitate toward one primary style most of the time. Trust me, it’s miserable trying to learn from someone one-on-one who insists on sharing in ways that don’t appeal to you. 

4.  Use written commitment sheets – recording specific, short-term, measurable goals. Even though most men start with lighter subjects as they build trust, it is important to have written goals from the beginning. If you fill your time together with anything in place of actual accountability, it is unlikely you’ll add it later.

5.  The most effective accountability partnerships are two-way, meaning each partner is both providing and receiving accountability. The goals and hurdles may be different, but to sustain the relationship effectiveness there must be transparency on both sides. One-way accountability, meaning one person providing accountability for the other with no opportunity for reciprocation, may work great short-term, but is seldom sustainable. If the primary goals are to overcome unhealthy patterns (addictions, anger outburst, pornography, laziness…), I strongly recommend that you choose a partner who does not have the same issues, as this often leads to relapse for one or the other, or both.

6.  The goal of an accountability partner is neither to “fix” his partner’s problems nor to judge or convict his partner. Each individual is responsible for bringing the issues to his accountability partner for which he needs accountability. The goal is then to help your partner achieve his goals. Prayer and Scripture are always valuable tools when offered to encourage and inspire. Be constructive, not destructive.  

7. Questions are invaluable tools in the process of accountability. Whether I’m addressing a goal aimed at improving practices (more consistent quiet times, investing in date nights with a spouse, writing thank you notes to clients…) or overcoming bad habits (pornography, drunkenness, holding a grudge…), I find many of the same kind of questions relevant and constructive. Here’s a list of questions I learned through the Center for Creative Leadership.

What are you doing or not doing that is getting in your way?

What alternatives might you imagine?

How could you look at the situation in a different way?

What is the cost of not making a change?

You say you can’t do that, but what would it look like if you could?

What is the next step for you?

How can I best support you?

Who else might you need to get involved?

What might get in the way?

What will you begin to do differently?                   Why?

What will that look like?

How will we measure progress?

There is much to learn about accountability, but it is not rocket science. It’s simply about two or three men deciding to commit to helping one another reach their goals by consistently reviewing those goals, affirming attainment and challenging and equipping one another to attain what each man has identified as worthy goals.  

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” says the wisest man whoever lived in Proverbs 27:17.

The Beauty of Being Chosen

On the back wall of the Five Stones office, these words are written:

Being chased pales in comparison to being chosen.

The words are meant to be direct; their meaning is intended to cut though the games people often play to receive and/or validate love; they are meant to be encouraging, hope-filled, and strong.  They are meant to be a rally cry! At Five Stones Counseling, we want couples to reach for being chosen.

When we engage in marital relationship games of being chased, we operate from a foundation marked by insecurity, low self-esteem, and/or doubt.  If unchecked, these games can lead to conditionally based love and commitment.  Unfortunately, we see people play these games all the time. Here are some examples:

• I wonder how my spouse will react if they see me flirting with someone else at the cookout? Will they fight for me? Will they be upset enough?

• I’ll just walk out the door and leave the next time we have an argument. I won’t tell my spouse where I am going. Will they come looking for me? Will they ask enough questions to convince me that they care where I went?

• I have to lose weight and/or get in good shape. I wonder if I am beautiful or handsome enough for my spouse?

Recognize any of these? You probably do. Being chased games are prevalent.

Here’s some truthful, good news: Covenant based, Christ-centered marriage is not based on conditional love; it is based on agape love that is portrayed by being smitten!  It is established and rooted in being chosen rather than being chased.  Being chosen leads to security. It allows us to relax in a healthy manner with one another.  And, being chosen should motivate us to protect our marriage from destructive behaviors and/or thoughts. 

So how do we establish being chosen? 

First, we put Christ at the center of our marriage through both Scripture and prayer.

Second, we use the power of words to establish, maintain, and build an atmosphere of being chosen in our marriage.  Here are some suggestions:

• Go beyond just saying I love you. Tell your spouse the specifics of what you love about them. Whisper these words into their ear, write them in a card, and scribble them in lipstick on the bathroom mirror.

• Frequently and creatively tell your spouse that no one compares to him or her. Be more complimentary than your comfort zone.

• Don’t be lazy in the area of flirting with your spouse. And, NEVER flirt with people other than your spouse. Seriously, people justify this behavior all the time, but flirting with someone other than your spouse is more than a bad habit; it is a doorway to destruction. This includes flirting via social media.

Remember, Christ-centered marriage is founded on love that reaches beyond and above our in-the-moment perceptions and/or circumstances. It is about being someone’s chosen and their beloved.  If you are engaging in being chased games (or considering playing them), stop! Talk to your spouse. Seek wise counsel.  Consider the wisdom and example of the couple portrayed in the Bible’s, Song of Songs; they know they are each other’s chosen, and the only chasing they engage in is to chase away the little foxes that represent the destructive behaviors in their marriage.

Couples sometimes argue, bodies change with age, and every day is not picturesque; however, the atmosphere of being chosen is achievable, and being chased pales in comparison.

Blessings, 

Jo 

A Simple Message for a June Bride

An avid reader of cookbooks, I found these words in Linda Hubalek’s, Butter in the Well. 

I love to see the journey a journal keeps. 

As a counselor, I immediately liked them. The writer’s words touch several aspects of my feminine heart; the message is both simple and sophisticated.  Here, in a few sentences, I see the following:

Prayer

Adventure

A mother’s heart

A daughter’s journey

A blessing

A call to covenant

“Leaving and cleaving” to one’s spouse is simple, but not easy. It requires focus and commitment; it takes effort; and it is a choice.  Further, it is a both a blessing and a requirement for establishing and maintaining a Christ-centered marriage.  

How do you “leave and cleave”?

·      First, parents initiate this step by teaching and training their children that the transfer of loyalty, dreams and dependence is both good and God-designed.  If you missed this training, it is never to late to be a student and/or a teacher.  

·      Second, set and observe healthy boundaries in relationships.  Respect your spouse. Guard the words that leave your mouth and avoid gossip at all times.

·      Third, trust.  Place your trust in God – the author of marriage. Choose a spouse who loves God with their all, and trust will be at the foundation of your marriage.  Adventures are more easily embraced when you know whom you are following.

·      Fourth, seek wise counsel. Make pre-marital counseling a priority. I promise the marriage is more important than the wedding ceremony. Cake and flowers fade, but you can experience the beauty of marriage with this person for decades.

·      Fifth, let go and embrace.  All stories develop and grow; they are not meant to be static. Your marriage is a story.

·      Last, pray and read Scripture. Nothing shapes your life, or your marriage, like a developed prayer life and time in the Word of God.  (hint: read Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31)

God is always at work. He uses the ordinary to reveal the extraordinary. He can transform our marriage with one sentence and expand our professional life via a cookbook. Seek the covenant he designed; your prairie is waiting!

Let God write your love story.

Blessings,

Jo

The Quiet of God's Love

As counselors, we are reminded that life can be noisy. Harsh circumstances can make the heart feel messy and loud. Rest can be evasive when you are hurting. Stress can be deafening. Bitterness is basically a full-blown brawl in your mind. A demanding schedule can make a life disordered. Confusion can fade the peace of the quiet.

Life can be noisy; no one is immune.

If life has become noisy for you lately,perhaps these words will help guide you to the True Quiet.

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“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3: 17

We underestimate God’s love; maybe not all of the time, but some of the time.  If we are not careful, we put God’s love in a box we can carry, and we deliver it to other people in a package that can be understood.  We contain it!  If we are not careful, a situation can appear either too big or too trivial to abide in the shelter of God’s love.  We measure it! If we’re not careful, circumstances, schedules, and both losses and gains shape our image of God’s love. We distort it!  It’s a trick of the deceitful heart and a scheme of the Evil one to lead us to perceive God’s love as containable, measurable, and boundary driven. In both the ordinary routine of life and in stench of the wasteland, we can underestimate God’s love. When this happens, the heart can become restless and chaotic; life can become noisy.

Thankfully, scripture guides our heart to see beyond what we can think and feel.  And, God’s Word is clear that his love is without measure. His love is high, wide, long, and deep (Ephesians 3:17-19).  It is bigger than any problem we face. God’s love is larger than what we can mentally conceive; yet, perfectly able to fill the tiniest corners of our heart.  With faithful love, God’s hands tend the expanse of the heavens and the smallest of sparrows.  Friend, with faithful love, God’s hands tend you!

His tending, presence can be a quieting experience.

God’s love quiets your life.

So what does it mean to be quieted by God’s love? The prophet Zephaniah was led to write the words, “he will quiet you with his love” to a people in peril. To a people in captivity. To a people, dearly loved, but deeply hurting. The prophet’s words echo a message of hope. Hope for the homeless; hope for the desperate; hope for the disheveled faithless; and hope for the broken. God’s love is for the weary within the dreary of life. God’s love is for the faithful and obedient. His love exists for all of us.

In the chaos of your day, quiet your heart. Listen to the song of love that God sings for his children. Listen to the words meant just for you.

 God’s love quiets your life.

Blessings, 

Jo

HEART LOVE

LORD, quiet my heart, with your love,

Pull me close; hold me tight.

Wipe every tear; hush every anxious word,

Comfort me; calm my breathing.

Whisper my name.

Trace my smile; delight in me.

Examine the things I bring before you; search me.

Clean my thoughts; make my heart sparkle.

Show me love that only the eyes of my heart can see.

Slow my day; lead me to be still before you,

Sing over me.

Adonia, as only you can, quiet my heart, with your love.

                                                       --Jo Crosby 

Cartwheels

 Here’s my Girl Talk Counseling Tip for the day: Lead with the Cartwheel. 

What does that mean? 

Leading with the Cartwheel means to give your heart permission to flip, delight in, and handspring towards your husband.  It means making a choice to greet and engage your spouse with love, kindness, enthusiasm, and smiles. It means making an effort to demonstrate the deep well of thanksgiving you hold for him. It means purposely being giddy, sexy, and available when he walks into the room. It means silencing the need to needlessly complain, gripe, or quarrel. It means harnessing a bitter heart and guarding the words that leave your mouth. Leading with the Cartwheel means beginning encounters with being his delight and having an attitude focused on building a strong, Christ-centered marriage.

Too often, as women, we lead with nagging, whiny behavior. We start conversations with words that drip of defensiveness, defeat, and despair. We joke about the honey-do list; we focus on all the chores not completed; and we bicker. We both pester him and then also fester in dissatisfaction.  We belittle ourselves, discount our beauty, and refuse to accept compliments. We snub touches and invitations to play.  We lead with criticisms instead of cartwheels.

A cartwheel, by definition, is an athletic, gravity-defying, feat in which the whole body works as a unit to change direction and present itself in a “circular sideways handspring with the arms and legs extended”.  Wow! Even as a mental visual, a cartwheel is hard to mistake.  They are noticeable.   

In relationships, Leading with the Cartwheel will take practice. Communicating and interacting this way will require focus and determination. It entails choice. It may mean altering your words and your walk?!!?

Thankfully, God is invested in transforming your heart; he directs our steps; tames the tongue; and invites us to follow him. He walks in love – extravagant love.

Perhaps you never mastered pulling a cartwheel off in real time, or maybe your younger self could manage one, but your older self is full of doubts.  Here is some good news for you: Everybody Can Do Relationship Cartwheels! They are easier than they look; they’re fun, noticeable, and doable.  And, they will change the tone and trajectory of your relationship.

Do you think I am zealous?

Maybe I am. I have invested deeply into reaching for the marriage God designed for me. I have made the choice to stop buying the garbage the world is selling; I want the Word of God to be my guide; and I am determined to teach others to do the same.

Consider the truth of Scripture:

“Better to live alone in a tumble down shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.” Proverbs 21:9

“A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.” Proverbs 27:15

“Better to live in a tent in the wild than with a cross and petulant spouse.” Proverbs 21:19

“Better to live alone in a tumble down shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.” Proverbs 25:24

Be a blessing to your husband; Lead with the Cartwheel.

Grace and Peace,

Jo

* Scripture taken from the Message